Mod Henry wrote:The following jokes are terrible, terrible jokes and I'm very, very sorry for bringing so much unhappiness into people's lives.
Man goes into a resteraunt, waiter says "Would you like to hear the specials?" Man says "Yes please". Waiter starts singing "This town is coming like a ghost town..."
So it's dinner time in the house and this giant fat man and people with guitars, bass, drums and load of people with horns and brass are singing "Lip Up Fatty" at the table. They're also reading a book! The Mum says: "It's bad manners reading at the table"
What do you call a stone that likes ska consistantly? Rocksteady.
Bob Marley, The Aggrolites and Toots & The Maytals are taking part in a race. The organiser says "Reggae, steady go!"
Man gets thrown through a window whilst listening to Desmond Dekker. He's ska'd for life.
At a port, there's a really really rough sea and there's a storm brewing and the waves are high and the wind is blowing. Out to sea there's a little boat and you can faintly hear music and someone singing "Welcome to the house of fun...now we've come of age." On the dock one sailer turns to the other and says: "it's Madness going to sea in this weather".
Rancid and Rage Against The Machine collaborated on a song. It's called TimeBombTrack
A historian is writing a book on medieval history. He's got chapters on the Celts, the Vikings, the Turks, the Franks etc. However he's written hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of pages on a German Roman Catholic Order who were pilgrames to the Holy Land. His mate, who likes ska, says "Too Much Teuton" (
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Teutonic_Knights)
How does Bob Marley like his donoughts? With Jamming. Also with highly political, rastafarian ideology.
So a Bob Marley fan is a security guard and he sees some Sparrows, Robins and Bluetits stealing something so he says "Freeze Little Birds" (
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Three_Little_BirdsMy Dad bought a ariel dish from a company called 'Navarone' and now we get Skatalite TV.
The King Blues have to give up their career and work in a fastfood shop. I hear they're taking orders. Taking orders. Taking orders again.
What do you get if you cross Sonic Boom Six with a 6 year-old child? Piggybank in the Middle.
Apparently there was a ska band called The Jokes
Is it funny that The Dead 60s have split up? Dead? Split up? Dead 60s? Ironic?
I apologise once more these jokes are simply appalling in ever sense of the word.
Suffice to say I'm a poet not a comedian
